yay poem post!

Thanks to the utterly emo and heart-wrenching essay I wrote for my English personal narrative text (yes I nearly cried. Lol, one day I’ll look at it, add a few paragraphs and post it here) I will now write a romantic poem to balance up my emotions.

loving you

i can’t stop looking at you

soft locks of charcoal-black hair

cascade downwards. who knew

beauty existed in one colour?

i can’t stop looking at you

doe eyes that could melt

even a soul of obsidian

not to mention my heart.

i can’t stop looking at you

a smile that proves to me

that all the rainbows in the world and beyond

are curved the wrong way.

i can’t stop looking at you

but since when

since when

have you ever looked at me?

Note: every single line was invented by moi, over a period of 30 minutes. A good way to pass half an hour, no? Well, it was fun for me. I’ll probably present this during lit for homework. yay

Josh (and I bet you are wondering, who is this for? maybe it isn’t even meant for anyone…)

yawn

tired.

a foray into the whimsical

hello.

whats the point of e-learning week when we have so much homework? then again, it's a great excuse to use the computer.

dangit I want a laptop.

Okay, enough of that. Whatever.

Josh (did you know Bruce Lee films are soooo full of porn? /frontal nudity = ew.)

The Bestbest Song!

Yes, I know. Even though I said Chasing Pavements was my favourite song. But now this is it. I mean, this is probably the best song I've ever heard. Well, at least to me.

No, I'm not colorblind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind
But I just can't sleep on this tonight

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

Don't know how else to say it
Don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
To find a way to say that life has just begun

Had a talk with my old man
Said "help me understand"
He said "turn sixty-eight
You renegotiate"

"Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
And don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train"

Once in awhile, when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
Till you cry when you're driving away in the dark
Singing

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train

This perfectly summarises my life. Although the most obvious theme is that of aging and dying, but try to apply it to a teenager's life. You'll actually see that it works.

Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in

Josh (who is at the moment rediscovering Facebook. yippee)

Chasing Pavements

I've made up my mind,
No need to think it over,
If i'm wrong I am right,
No need to look no further,
This ain't lust, I know
This is love but,

If i tell the world,
I'll never say enough,
Cause it was not said to you,
And thats exactly what i need to do,
If i'm in love with you,

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

I'd build myself up,
And fly around in circles,
Wait then as my heart drops,
and my back begins to tingle
finally could this be it

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

This song is so full of meaning. It's just beautiful. And her voice is incredible.
(Chasing Pavements refers to when Adele, the singer, broke up with her boyfriend and was aimlessly running around the streets at 6am)

Josh

the aftermath

Well. Guess I need to talk about this issue more, given the large number of people who have been chasing me for a more sane post. What a bloody aftermath.

First, the last line of the other post has been changed. Fine, deleted. Due to the large number of people who have misinterpreted the line. Not their fault, it's the way I wrote it. Not to mention some rather abrasive lines have been removed.

And to this anonymous, you're right. I should start appreciating what others are doing for me and what I have, rather than complain about what I don't.

And on a side note, what's this about position? Refer to earlier posts on my position on this matter (haha punny)

To a someone from Sec 4 who has talked to me: Thanks for the advice. I shouldn't focus on what others think about me. I run this race for God, and anything I do in my lifetime besides things done for His purpose will have ABSOLUTELY no meaning when I die.

You know why I don't talk about my feelings much? Because things like this happen when I talk about it. I'm not saying that it's bad, but I should be careful in future, I guess.

Which means I probably won't talk about them at all.

All of a sudden, Chasing Pavements is my favourite song. So much meaning for me.

Josh (Oh and Jon, no hard feelings. You know what you're doing.

emo post! finally!

Time for the classic emo post. Prepare for /rant.

COH selections are coming up this Friday. Everyone's on edge (appalling number of COH-related jokes). But what worries me more is the view that everyone thinks I'm a '2nd choice', a second-best.

Quoth the following:
Justin Foo:" You're just not bright enough."
Ding Hao: "...you're destined to be second best. Ha!" *walks off drinking something*
Russell:" You fail like a Sec 1"
Jon See: *shakes head when I turn up with a sprained ankle**sigh*.

Why am I always the backup guy, the guy who is never the first choice, the guy who never has anything to showcase for himself?

I mean, first I was backup for NPC...

Why does no one think I am in fact capable of more?

Don't get me wrong. Yong Xin and all the NPC people AND the rest of my batch AND most of the Sec 4s AND most of the Sec 1s, them I love. But why am I always the 'filler' guy, the guy who will never really stand out?

Justin: Do I need to accept the numerous invitations for me to do Dramafeste before you think I am smart enough, eloquent enough, confident enough? I turn my lit brain off during trainings to get the job done and not to come across as arrogant. I make people (especially juniors) comfortable by not patronizing them.

I won't just keep quiet and take all you people's crap forever, you know. Same goes to the Sec 3s and 4s who enjoy wildly criticizing juniors and peers. I won't just smile and shrug when you say that I suck and bully me.