and after all that something i cannot comprehend tells me that it's time to rock.

i don't know why.

but sooner or later it's gonna come out somewhere man. (:

orth melbourne beat Geelong woooooooooo says:
*are u the only boy that plays piano on stage in your youth?
bo says:
*yeah
*i think so
*HAHA
*i've never thought of it that way



How come I never thought of it like that? Is piano not a guy thing? (don't answer that) All you hidden male prodigies in church better come out and show your stuff.

Feminine is good right? I mean, some of the best male minds of the century were rather feminine:

CAN'T DISAGREE CAN YOU.

I frown on the fur coat. (It is fur, right?)
(oscar wilde jsyk)


YES RIGHT TOTALLY (:
okay i'm pushing it.











i have decided to look to whatever glimmer of hope may come, 'cause sometimes that may be all it takes.

awwww.

my two most favourite men.

i wanna glide down over mulholland

I think i've lost myself along the way.

I'd like to think I was as best a friend I could be to everyone I knew, but I've been pretty wrong. horribly wrong.

Somehow i lost what it was all about somewhere along the way.

I think I made myself out to be way more than i actually was. am. is.

Now i'm going to say what i reallllyyyy feel.

you. Honestly, you were one of the biggest pillars of my world during that crazy period in the early months of last year. We're still really cool and really fine and I hope we stay that way. For some reason i cannot fathom I trust you so much.

you. You're changing, and I love it. It started during church camp (cause before that i felt we never really connected) but now i can be (quite) free around you. I love how we both identify with the same things, 'cause no one else really does that.

you. I still feel a strange mix of emotions when I think of you, 'cause neither of us ever meant for it to be like this. But I think it's pretty clear what you want, and you haven't pointed towards anything different, and I've think i've been walking in your shadow too long. This really is surprisingly easy, considering how I know this doesn't mean i'll never want you back or that i'll never do stupid, crazy things that i'd never do, or that i won't go about life seeing little things that scream your name. But i'm not going to care. I cared for waaayyy too long, and I think it's time for me to

write her name in the sky
I wanna free fall out into nothing
Ohhh i'm gonna leave this world for a while

I really do understand this song after going through all that.

you. People love you, and you should never have to feel any different. I must confess sometimes I feel very strongly against you when you do your thing but that's always been the case. When i think carefully after that I realise I have ABSOLUTELY no reason to and it's just me being jealous/angry at my own inability to do so. Keep shining bro.

you. You've always given the best advice. Especially that day in the canteen, and those days in the seminar rooms talking about _____ and _____. And _____. I love that we have that unconditional trust. friends for life!

That's a lot of the stuff I wanted to say.

ignite your bones

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...

I adore Fix You. It's simply too nice to be real.

I have photos of a) people sleeping b) chairs hanging from holes in the wall in my class c) cow eyeball dissection photos which may or may not be allowed due to protest from various animal rights groups

all of which i would love to post, but i have no timeee. and it's late. Why am I blogging? I don't know. 'Cause i don't find much solace in blogging any more. I think I shall take to scribbling in a little black book of some sort.

I find i'm beginning to describe myself in third person in my head more and more.

There is a strange deep-seated feeling of frustration that floats around my head.

I STILL THINK JOHN MAYER IS AWESOMEZ. I don't care if he may have autotuned/melodyned some of his 'where the light is' concert. It sounds real enough. (if you wanna tell, listen to the line 'if my past is any sign of your future' in the song 'I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You)'. The sudden re-tune is glaringly obvious.

In other mayer-related news, i find that certain songs played at certain times of day sound so much better they give me shivers:

DAWN: 3x5

NOON: Your Body Is A Wonderland, My Stupid Mouth, Why Georgia, No Such Thing

SUNSET: In Your Atmosphere, WHEEL, Stop This Train, The Blower's Daughter, Cannonball, 83

NIGHT: Neon (duh), anything by fionn regan, Slow Dancing in a Burning Room

The rest work reasonably well anytime.

On yet another note, CAMPFIRE WAS AWESOME. PCAD was amazing. How on earth do you set up scenes in 10 seconds! Although that was mostly due to Ms Liew's chasing. It was quite funny to watch (sorry).

Aidan, your female roles always turn the entire crowd off and on at the same time. Don't know how or why that happens. Everyone says 'ew' but later poses for pictures with you at the end.

whew.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZ0tZBC8vuk


I think our dear John's discovering that his old side is so adorable. Ever heard No Such Thing with his new, super nice, super clean voice?


oh gosh oh gosh. i think mayer's back

talllll

GleN-001 Exia says:
*josh... what hv u been telling yr mum abt me?? she told me just now "i pictured u shorter"!
on the breath that you were finished with says:
*HAHAHAH
GleN-001 Exia says:
*what dfid u tell her abt me huh ???
*8o|
on the breath that you were finished with says:
*nothing!
*honest!
GleN-001 Exia says:
*sure..
on the breath that you were finished with says:
*reallly!
GleN-001 Exia says:
*whatever
on the breath that you were finished with says:
*):
*glen doesn't believe me
GleN-001 Exia says:
*tall lah. fine lah
on the breath that you were finished with says:
*HAHAHAHA
*not my choice
GleN-001 Exia says:
*D:
*-.-
*=.=
*!!!!
*dammit
on the breath that you were finished with says:
*i'm sooo posting this on my blog
*this is funny
GleN-001 Exia says:
*.......
*bah

'Tis time for a long and lengthy post on just about everything I wanna say to all of y'all.

fly

honestly, time is getting tighter and tighter and i fear that church may start to fade out of my mind. Which is something i really do not want to happen. and church is really the most important thing in my heart. i miss all y'all already, and it's only been one week.

worship is fun and worship makes everything complete, but i yearn for the day where i shall finally sing and dance in pure, blessed rapture as david did. someday, someday.

and for a few people:

timo, you're changing. i think it started in camp, and it's as if a smoother, more focused, sweeter timo is rising up. i love it man! we have, uh, ways to go yet (although smeagol from lotr said that but THAT'S IRRELEVANT).

shanz, i honestly honestly have done nothing to deserve such awesomeness from you. i dearly hope that someday i shall be able to repay all this kindness (:

as for you, tbh i cannot tell how much of what you do or say or express is directed towards me. although sometimes i cannot help but feel that it simply has to be, after reading and re-reading and thinking and re-thinking and all this thinking and fretting ties my heart up in knots. i remember there once was a time where all this was so much easier but that doesn't mean that i'll give up now that it's uncomfortable. rawr i am terribly sorry for not being able to decipher all your riddles. although i don't know what to do or what to say (or what to think even because more than half of the time i'm wrong).

have no fear for giving in
have no fear for giving over




i shall post about school another time. work calls.