not anymore.

Seriously, I don't know why I bother anymore.

Does anyone really care?

I discover why people commit suicide.

Thanks for the idea liren.

Let my heart fade away. Let my body be pulsed through wires and frames, loose signals echoing in distant galaxies. Let my invisible fingers play the intangible music of solitude. Let my smile linger a while longer as an image, a memory, a ghost, hanging fleetingly in the air before disappearing completely.

Let my thoughts drift away to the place where wishes not granted flow to.

Let my heart fade away.




and it's dark and i'm running from that thing that's so big and scary and i look for someone, anyone but no one's there and my footsteps echo off the smooth concrete that towers up and around and surrounds me.

then the thing disappears, for now. a temporary respite. and i sit in a corner and i see the light stream in from the distance and it never really seems to reach me. then i see a shadow nearby, so i get up and reach out gingerly, hoping that maybe, just maybe, this shadow is just like me, frightened, lost, lonely, confused.

then the shadow turns briefly, looks at me with the look i've seen thousands and thousands of times before and drifts away.

and i sit back down and i'm all alone, and the darkness seems darker than ever. and i'm running and this time that thing's got me, it has oh yes it has, and as i scream it drags me back down to where i started.

its just a game, isn't it.







but how real is it?









really, who would bother to remember me?